‘Broken Glass’ by Chloe Padmore

I lie in my room
Bathed in shadows and desolation
A single ray of light from broken curtains
Shines a beacon of iridescence
Across a wasteland of senescent sorrow

I used to think
You were that light ray
The one golden beam streaming in
To protect me from anything
My person
People say walking on eggshells
With you it’s more like walking on
Broken glass
I still have to be careful
Tiptoeing around your fragile feelings
Don’t let the glass shatter any further
Don’t let the cracks make a sound
Don’t let it cut any deeper than it has to
The edges still tear into my flesh
Leaving scars and wounds hidden
Guilt ridden
That’s what you made me
You weren’t my person
You were my poison

That distant feeling of something
Welling up
A pit in my chest
Like tendrils
Coarse granules of sand swirling
Squeezing around the core
Of my very existence
Suffocating
Preventing any chance of me escaping
The feeling spreads throughout my chest, branching out
Up my arms to the tips of my fingers
Stomach, skin, bones
Aching with desperation
Wondering
Why?
Why couldn’t you be there?
For little me
Been a protector like you promised
I saw through your dishonesty
Your vile lies
Everyone called me insane
And you couldn’t refrain from grinning
Because you know what you are

They told me that I loved you
Well I despise that word
Love doesn’t mean a thing
You can love someone you don’t like
You can love someone you hate
And I did!
And I still do

Tear me down
Break me apart
Rip me limb from limb
Leave me hanging by a thread
You don’t get to win
I don’t need you to be my ray of light
Don’t pretend you’re trying to fight for me
Well now you’re caught
Showing no remorse
And everyone sees
Your heinous deceit

Call me a villain
But in the end

I’m free
From shards
Of your broken glass